Back to the Gym

So after the cold and then the plague, I've had some time off from the gym. I finally forced myself back today. Now I am sore but I worked out.

While I was on the machines or on the track I was looking around and enjoying the familiar sights. Some of you know how warped I am. Some of you might not know my love of giving people I don't know nicknames. I have given lots of nicknames to regulars that I see at the gym and I felt like sharing some of them with you.

The sweater - I first noticed this guy based on the huge patch of wet all over is back and the way he clung to the treadmill as if the machine was going to run away from him. The sweater when done with his workout gets one paper towel and proceeds to spray the machine a minimum of thirty times. I used to just laugh at the sweater's unusual ritual until one day I actually saw him wipe his arm sweat on the treadmill and then I wished he would use five paper towels and spray about fifty times.

The chugger - This woman dutifully gets on the machine that is a cross between the elliptical and a stair climber. It has the arm thingys that make your arms go back and forth. I don't know what level she has this thing on but I think it is like 64. The effort and strain she puts into the workout has dubbed her the chugger.

The mugger - Not related to the chugger but another one who takes his workout seriously. This man is in training for an aggravated assault. I see him on the treadmill with either a ski cap on or his hoodie hood pulled up.

Butt Apron - A skinny mini woman who never works out unless she has some sort of shirt tied around her waist. I guess to hide that grape she ate last year.

Sweet Miss Daisy - This cute little old bitty who walks the track and will always take this little jog to get out of your way, even though its your job to walk around slower people. And on the same corner every time she gets to this corner she puts her back to it and does this little stretching thing.

The gym hos - These women bug me to no end. I have never actually seen them working out just walking around the machine area talking to anyone they know so loudly I can hear it through my ipod, which let's get this straight is not on a low volume. Hey girl, oh my gosh, what are you doing here? Oh girl, you look so good. Hey bimbos, shut it, I can hear you and I don't want to. Yeah, maybe that is really mean but I really can't stand them.

The Ladies Benevolent Society - There is a group of tables near the coffee and tea area. You can sit there, chat, take a break, and drink some herbal tea. If you happen to sit at a table by yourself, and all the others tables are taken when the LBS comes for their chat session you are in for it. You will be taken over. Reading a biography on Ben Franklin? Not anymore, you will get nothing more out of it as the goiter talk begins. Break time is over, its bunion and corn talk time.

Uncle Gino - This one might come out wrong or make me sound snobby but here it goes. This man is a smoker. New Yorker, Italian, old man, swagger smoker. I cannot be on the track when Gino comes around. I am very sensitive to cigarette smoke. But there is something special about Gino. I can't be downwind of this man on the track, bring on the insta-headache.

So while thinking about this post I was trying to think up what someone like me might nickname me. I like to think that I am not that quirky enough to garner notice. But I do happen to do a couple of slightly off things. My people watching causes me to laugh or chuckle to myself quite frequently, that might seem weird to an obsvervist. The other thing is that I have been known to strut a little or add some head bobbing on the track especially when I've got some OK Go rocking on the ipod. But I haven't been able to come up with any quippy name for a weird woman who smiles to herself while bobbing to her own head music.

Welcome to this little view of my twisted head. I hope you enjoyed the tour of my gym.