Just to start off, Dan says some awesome things. I wanted to share some of my favorites with you. This is not to embarrass him, it is for everyone to enjoy, including me. Dan is so much fun to have around. He is the classic example of speaking before you think. He never says these things with harmful intent they just sound so awful when they first come out.
So here are the top five:
5. Dan thinks that we need to give the children more chores now that they are getting older. More helping to clean the house and that sort of thing. I responded with that I understood that they should help more but it was hard as a housewife to let them since it feel like if I let them clean the house I am letting them do my job and then what do I do? His response, "Just think of all the deep cleaning that you could do."
4. Everyone who knows me knows I don't wear shorts but moving to the south has made me rethink that rule. However, I don't even have any. So one day I raided Dan's drawers looking for shorts and actually found a pair that fit. I was very excited to find a pair that fit and attributed this success to my recent weight loss. So I called Dan on the phone to crow about it, he asked, "What shorts?" I then explained the blue ones, the ones he doesn't wear often, his response, "Oh yeah, they're way too huge."
3. When we were living in the great white north we got caught in a wind storm and eventually rolled the truck into a ditch. With the truck on its side and me dangling in the air, Dan says, "Well, what do we do now?" Me, "Call 911," His response, "But its not an emergency."
2. One day Dan and I were just talking and we got to talking about DD and when she grows up. Dan started to say things like what if DD grows up and this happens and what if that happens. He was thinking about DD in junior high but didn't say he was thinking of her at this age when he says, "What if she grows up and is X lbs?" The X lbs he stated just happened to be what I weighed at the time.
And...
1. We were in the bathroom getting ready for bed one night. I am about 7-8 months pregnant with DD. I am looking at the toilet and thinking I then say to Dan, "How do really obese people fit on toilets?" His response, "You fit just fine dear."
4 comments:
Those are tooooo FunNnnny! Yes, it was definitely a good idea to record those for posterity!
It sounds like Dan has foot in mouth disease. That, I think, is hereditary! I find myself in the same situations- frequently! There is no cure and eventually those you love know how to take it. You're doing very well with Dan. Keep up the good work!
I know the look on Dan's face after he says those things... You stare at him for a few seconds; he squints a little bit and his mouth moves slightly as if he's whispering something very softly.
Oh, geez. These made me crack up laughing out loud in front of my boss... Thanks, Cristtin. It's good to know Dan is still Dan.
My all time favorite, "You fit just fine dear." LOL!!
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