I am so mad, I could scream

I know that I have been very brain-dead lately. Very forgetful, scatterbrained, any synonym you can think of, I can't because my brain isn't working right. However, there has been one consolation in that it has mostly been making my life more difficult. I have been forgetting my appointments, my stuff. The children's lives, for the most part haven't been affected, except maybe seeing me a little more frazzled than is normal. The one exception happened recently was when I didn't make it home in time for when Punx and DD got off the bus. I planned and planned to get home in time and then got stuck behind construction. One of those flaggers where they are only letting one side of traffic go at a time while you just sit there. I could have screamed then but I luckily have a neighbor on my cell phone, now I have two, and she got them and took them home with her until I got there, about ten minutes late. Now if I am not outside waiting for the kids, they just start walking to the neighbor's house. I had to stop them of that one, "Punx, you've been going to school for four years, how many times have I not been home when you got home?" Once, and now all of a sudden it is going to happen all the time? Kids are so funny. This is not the point.

Other than the bus thing, I have been trying so hard to not let my new state of mind affect the children's lives. Until today it hit me like a ton of bricks, major calendar error. I use the calendar on my cell phone because it calls you 15 minutes before you have something scheduled to say, "Yo, doofus, you should've left by now." Yeah, I know, my cell phone is rude. It has saved me a couple times by only being a little late instead of not showing up at all. I was sitting on the couch today trying to make sure I had everything in my phone and double checking it with the master calendar hanging in the kitchen. Yes, I am that bad, two calendars and I still am barely keeping it together. Then I get to the end of May, I am getting to the last day of school, blah, blah, blah. I look at the last two days of May, one of those days is the day we are leaving for vacation to the Great Smokey Mountains. That is when it hit me like a ton of bricks. Punx has scout camp that week we will be gone. His camp is the first week of June. We got the paper work for camp sometime in March, I made the vacation reservation sometime in February, I never saw a conflict. I always thought we leave in May and when we get back Punx will go to scout camp.

Both have already been paid for. Punx scout camp by the ward. Here is were the screaming comes in. I am an anal planner for the worst, I am an insurance person, I always get that $60 cancellation insurance, did I get this time, of course I didn't, I forgot. Is the reservation transferable, of course it isn't. The children know about our vacation, Punx knows about scout camp. Everyone is excited for everything. It's not like I can just cancel one, be out the money and just take the hit. I can't even begin to think of what to do. It would seem like I should not let Punx go to scout camp and we take the family vacation, since this is the only summer vacation I have planned this summer. I think we might do another trip in July but I don't have any firm plans. I just hate the thought of having to tell him of how I screwed up and now he can't go. Enter more screaming. Will one of you tell him and tell him it's your fault? I know, how can this be Dan's fault?